Here's the new version of chapter one for Isla's re-write: enjoy and as always, let me know what you think :)
ONE
Darkness.
This, most terrifying force known to man, has kept anyone from braving the night. I was told that long ago, before the creatures of the night drove us from the forests, man walked in the silvery shadows of the moon. I’ve never actually seen this fabled beacon of light, but I’ve always loved to listen to the Whitebeards as they whisper tales long forgotten by the rest of us, now faded into obscurity.
I am thirteen years old, and even though already considered a man, I only now understand the terror of which those men have spoken. I would not dare speak of it but I fear it may never leave my dreams until I release it somehow. Three sleepless nights ago I was awakened by screams outside our village. My father rose quickly, gathering his machete and racing outside. I dutifully followed close behind as a shadow following him into the darkness.
Light flashed into the air and the brightness lit the beach as another scream pierced the air. I raced through the cool sand as the waves crashed the shore, my heart pounding in my throat as I wondered what horror I would see. When my father stopped, I flanked him, just in time to feel another burst of heat and see the blinding light, illuminating the headless trunk of a man collapsing to the ground. My eyes darted toward the attacker, but the sheer brightness of the light hid the assailant’s features, and then he was gone. I never saw his face, only the sinister silhouette branded in white across my vision.
The men of the village assembled and quickly decided to make a perimeter around our homes and remain vigilant until morning. Each took a certain area and fearfully stood their ground, committing to guard the families until the attacker was found or until safety could be assured. I stayed for the first shift anxiously awaiting a reprieve from my overactive imagination and the fictitious beasts that stalked me at the edge of the tree line.
I could hear the wind whipping through the forest branches all night as I watched the horrifying scene in my mind’s eye until the light of morning came. The next day, Gilpha was abuzz with news of murder. The dead man’s head had been severed and the flesh close to the wound was charred black. Burns appeared all over his body, as though he were tortured with a flaming torch or something equally searing. All the adults were talking about him the next day, but I only wanted to know what the Whitebeards thought. Fortunately, they were even less concerned about being heard than normal, so I sneaked close and listened intently.
There was a group of Whitebeards discussing a man named Ammin, who had possessed the headless body the day before. They said he came from the village of Dolfia, about half a mile away. His wife and daughter reported that they had not seen him after he left to hunt that morning. The friends who had left with him did not recall seeing him after he tracked a faint animal trail alone at about mid-day. How did his corpse end up here, on the beach over a mile away? Where did that killer come from? Does he still lurk in the shadows of our village or has he moved throughout the land of Grania? The Whitebeards seemed to be suspicious about the dark forests. Could those legendary envoys of chaos dwelling in the darkness be back, killing at will on our island home? Their alarm frightened me more than the ordeal itself, and has only heightened my anxiety. I still have yet to sleep.
More and more, the people of our village ignore this event, and my father won’t even speak of it. What am I to do? I know there is something insidious lurking at the heart of this village, this island, this place. How long must we endure this blackness before we act? The Whitebeards keep talking about the past, referring to a time of disarray almost ten years ago. Many men died that year, nearly fifty in one month. No one even speaks of it anymore; for today was the first I have heard of any such incident. What is happening? Will I ever be released of this burden?
-Carrick
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Behind the Veil created! Chapter one of (untitled)
If you're coming to read then great! This is a blog directed toward producing parts and pieces of stories that I am currently working toward writing. There are three projects that I am working on: the Isla (working title) series, the Grey, and a third yet (untitled) project. This should serve as the resivoir for ideas for these three stories. If you are unfamiliar with any, check the sidebar for synopses.
This is the first chapter of the (untitled) tale that I have begun to write: enjoy :)
Caleb’s heart matched his breathless pace down the alley as shouts and shadows tailed him. The darkness hid the number of men chasing him, but he knew it was more than he could handle alone. He had to find a way out… and fast! The Bronx was unfriendly at best under normal circumstances, but these conditions made for disaster.
The voices rose as the men seemed to gain, tears beginning to well up in Caleb’s eyes as he pushed himself to the limit, hoping his athesma would remain dormant. After hanging a quick right down a small alley, Caleb darted into a trash heap under a stairwell, hoping the feet did not stop with him. He heavily breathed in garbage and rottenness, trying to still his heart and calm his adrenaline.
Caleb thought of his little brothers going to bed in Queens while he lay in filth here. It was Friday, so his mom was probably drunk somewhere in the area. Who knew what freak she would bring home tonight. Or if she would even come home… He despised her for that. How could she go out and fritter away what little they had (their government help wasn’t near enough to put food on the table anyway) on sex and liquor? Caleb was sixteen years old and had been doing odd jobs in Daren’s Quick Mart over the last few months to pay for his brothers’ food on the side. If his mom found out, she’d probably have taken the money for another late night escapade, so he’d hidden the extra cash and simply brought home food every now and then for them while she was gone.
He reached into the inside pocket of his leather jacket and removed the stone. All this trouble for such a tiny trinket? When his fingers encircled the smooth steel stone, he closed his eyes and wished he could get away. He had no idea what the stone was worth, but if their pursuit was any indication, he had stolen something very valuable. Hopefully the pawn shop owner Marcus would see its worth too.
He could hear the voices approaching, and then descending behind him. He clamped his eyes shut, as though keeping them closed would render him less visible. He breathed deep. They must have gone. When he opened his eyes he could see the dimly lit buildings on either side of him, but there was something strange near the street. Like a door of blackness situated right in front of him, a dark column stood eclipsing everything behind it. Caleb was so startled by this anomaly that he leaned forward, moving the trash aside. It stood almost fifteen feet high and five wide. He tried to peer around the large black structure as he stood, reaching out a hand.
“Hey!” A voice rang out from behind.
As Caleb spun around, startled, he tripped and fell backward. As he hit the ground, his head jerked back and the world spun. It seemed as if blackness consumed him, and the column of blackness traded places with the world of lights and buildings, but for only a moment until the blackness of unconsciousness truly seized him.
Caleb awoke with a start on a cold slab of rock with terrible headache and blood matted in his hair. He struggled to remember the occurrences of the previous night or even where he was, but to no avail. All that was around him was blackness, a great empty nothing. He groped around in the darkness for something, anything for what seemed like an eternity, but found nothing. He wondered if he’d finally bit it, and this was all there was after death. Maybe this is what hell is? Just darkness and nothing everywhere. Panic stirred in his chest and he refused to follow that track any farther.
He swore aloud and it echoed slightly. Echo? He must be someplace with walls. He redoubled his efforts to seek out the end of the black, but fear stopped him cold after several more minutes of searching with his hands and feet. He yelled again, “Hello!” Only the echo returned to him. No light and no hope. He collapsed in a heap as despair took him down. He cried there like a baby, the fear causing him to gulp in deep breaths between sobs. Nothingness consumed him there until sleep finally gave respite.
He awoke in darkness and heaved a heavy sigh. So this is how it would be forever? This time, he felt something holding him down. He yelled, thrashing at the suffocating force laying on him. His blanket flew across the room as light stormed into his vision. Keeton, his brother, who was sleeping in the other bed in the room, jumped and grabbed at his heart, panting. “Dang, Caleb. What was that? You can’t wake a guy up like that. You almost gave me a heart attack!”
“Sorry, it’s just…” Caleb said, breathing heavily. “I had the craziest nightmare, that’s all.”
“Yeah? Well, you keep those to yourself. I was dreaming of kissing Josie, that hot girl from school. I can’t go back. You suck, dude.”
“Sorry, bro.” Caleb rolled over, but sleep was illusive due to all the adrenaline coursing through his veins. What the heck was that? What had happened to him? Was it all just a dream, or what it seemed to be? He reached for the back of his head. He shuttered to find that it was still tender. This was no dream.
more to come... :)
This is the first chapter of the (untitled) tale that I have begun to write: enjoy :)
Caleb’s heart matched his breathless pace down the alley as shouts and shadows tailed him. The darkness hid the number of men chasing him, but he knew it was more than he could handle alone. He had to find a way out… and fast! The Bronx was unfriendly at best under normal circumstances, but these conditions made for disaster.
The voices rose as the men seemed to gain, tears beginning to well up in Caleb’s eyes as he pushed himself to the limit, hoping his athesma would remain dormant. After hanging a quick right down a small alley, Caleb darted into a trash heap under a stairwell, hoping the feet did not stop with him. He heavily breathed in garbage and rottenness, trying to still his heart and calm his adrenaline.
Caleb thought of his little brothers going to bed in Queens while he lay in filth here. It was Friday, so his mom was probably drunk somewhere in the area. Who knew what freak she would bring home tonight. Or if she would even come home… He despised her for that. How could she go out and fritter away what little they had (their government help wasn’t near enough to put food on the table anyway) on sex and liquor? Caleb was sixteen years old and had been doing odd jobs in Daren’s Quick Mart over the last few months to pay for his brothers’ food on the side. If his mom found out, she’d probably have taken the money for another late night escapade, so he’d hidden the extra cash and simply brought home food every now and then for them while she was gone.
He reached into the inside pocket of his leather jacket and removed the stone. All this trouble for such a tiny trinket? When his fingers encircled the smooth steel stone, he closed his eyes and wished he could get away. He had no idea what the stone was worth, but if their pursuit was any indication, he had stolen something very valuable. Hopefully the pawn shop owner Marcus would see its worth too.
He could hear the voices approaching, and then descending behind him. He clamped his eyes shut, as though keeping them closed would render him less visible. He breathed deep. They must have gone. When he opened his eyes he could see the dimly lit buildings on either side of him, but there was something strange near the street. Like a door of blackness situated right in front of him, a dark column stood eclipsing everything behind it. Caleb was so startled by this anomaly that he leaned forward, moving the trash aside. It stood almost fifteen feet high and five wide. He tried to peer around the large black structure as he stood, reaching out a hand.
“Hey!” A voice rang out from behind.
As Caleb spun around, startled, he tripped and fell backward. As he hit the ground, his head jerked back and the world spun. It seemed as if blackness consumed him, and the column of blackness traded places with the world of lights and buildings, but for only a moment until the blackness of unconsciousness truly seized him.
Caleb awoke with a start on a cold slab of rock with terrible headache and blood matted in his hair. He struggled to remember the occurrences of the previous night or even where he was, but to no avail. All that was around him was blackness, a great empty nothing. He groped around in the darkness for something, anything for what seemed like an eternity, but found nothing. He wondered if he’d finally bit it, and this was all there was after death. Maybe this is what hell is? Just darkness and nothing everywhere. Panic stirred in his chest and he refused to follow that track any farther.
He swore aloud and it echoed slightly. Echo? He must be someplace with walls. He redoubled his efforts to seek out the end of the black, but fear stopped him cold after several more minutes of searching with his hands and feet. He yelled again, “Hello!” Only the echo returned to him. No light and no hope. He collapsed in a heap as despair took him down. He cried there like a baby, the fear causing him to gulp in deep breaths between sobs. Nothingness consumed him there until sleep finally gave respite.
He awoke in darkness and heaved a heavy sigh. So this is how it would be forever? This time, he felt something holding him down. He yelled, thrashing at the suffocating force laying on him. His blanket flew across the room as light stormed into his vision. Keeton, his brother, who was sleeping in the other bed in the room, jumped and grabbed at his heart, panting. “Dang, Caleb. What was that? You can’t wake a guy up like that. You almost gave me a heart attack!”
“Sorry, it’s just…” Caleb said, breathing heavily. “I had the craziest nightmare, that’s all.”
“Yeah? Well, you keep those to yourself. I was dreaming of kissing Josie, that hot girl from school. I can’t go back. You suck, dude.”
“Sorry, bro.” Caleb rolled over, but sleep was illusive due to all the adrenaline coursing through his veins. What the heck was that? What had happened to him? Was it all just a dream, or what it seemed to be? He reached for the back of his head. He shuttered to find that it was still tender. This was no dream.
more to come... :)
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